Sunday, August 17, 2008

Hour 2: You Are Worth It

In hour two of The 24-Hour Turn Around, the authors ask the question: Who sets the ‘’price’’ on the value of an individual?

My answer? I do. YOU do. We set our own price. They bring up another interesting point which illustrates that our value is variable, based on how WE want to define that value.

Many people place a lot of value on money. And it’s important! Without money, our lives are very different than with it. That’s not to say better, always, but certainly different. How much value do we place on a bill? Well… That depends on the bill. A dollar bill is worth about 100 cents, and a hundo is worth, um… Well, a hundred dollars, which is worth 10,000 cents. One hundred versus ten-thousand…

No wonder we try to keep up with the Joneses.

Here’s the funny thing. Before that bill is printed, the same paper is rolled out. A hundred dollar bill is printed on the same paper as the one-dollar bill. It’s the decision to print what is printed, which determines the value.

I think that’s great. Whether a bill lives on to buy a pack of gum, or a digital camera, each starts out the same. The stuff that makes the bill is the same.

The book talks about the ten steps to a transformed self esteem. I’ll include the list in the margin on this blog, but there are a few things I’d like to say about self-esteem and self image.

There are so many things which make a person. Characteristics, mannerisms, opinions, intellect, interests… The list is endless, of course. And that is why we human beings are so complex! Consider: When one person meets another, there are many things which one person could be attracted to. Of course, physical attraction is important, but it’s not enough. (If you’ve ever dated a beautiful woman or hunky man who is ugly inside, you know what I’m talking about.) No, attraction is the whole package, with its recipe which comprises the person. One person may be fascinated by a man who has quiet dignity. Another person may be attracted to someone who is intelligent and complicated. There are plenty of people who want an ‘’easy’’ relationship with an uncomplicated person. And what about The X Factor? By definition, it’s hard to define. Why? Because The X Factor just the right mix, of just the right things.

Now, with all these attractors going on, it’s hard to forget that there is a person on the other side who is taking it all in. Two people, completely opposite, can be equally, 100% attractive to different people. Hey, even two completely different people can be attractive to the same person!

The point here is that we are all so individual, and it doesn’t make us better or worse than anyone else.

I have a few acquaintances or friends who are BBW. (For you married and otherwise non-dating people out there, that stands for Big Beautiful Women.) Unfortunately, not all women who are BBW feel like the second, um… B.

But there are guys out there who want a woman they can hold on to. They will quickly and easily toss aside a relationship with a thin woman for a heavy woman. Why? Preference. Some guys just prefer bigger gals.

The point of all this is simply to say that the flaws you see in yourself do not devalue you. I deleted my Blogger profile description ‘’who is Lorin Neikirk?’’ some time ago, but in it I mentioned that who I am is not based on everything which comprises me. Who I am is who I could be in a perfect world, without the stressors to bring on the not-so-great stuff. Insecurity is not who I am, it’s how I react when I do not feel very secure. Self-criticism is not who I am, it’s what happens when I feel the need to prove myself. When you feel the pressure of others asking you to prove yourself, your response could be very different. The result of the stressor is not WHO we are, it’s how we react.

So who are you? And how do you define your value? We all are naked without our clothes, we all have to use the bathroom, we all have bad breath in the morning and we all have to shower, or else we stink. We are made of the same stuff. Flesh, tissue, blood, organs and bone, and lots of water… Out bodies are the same. If we each begin on a level playing field, what defines our value? In the world of things that get sold, something’s value is what someone is willing to pay for it. In YOUR case, there is someone who would pay a fortune for what you have to offer as a person, provided the money was there. For those who lean towards a religious perspective, you could consider that Jesus paid the ultimate price for you, so we each are priceless.

What do you deserve? Are you living the life you deserve? When I say ‘’deserve’’ I am not saying you have already earned the spot. I am saying do you, as a person, have the right to work in your chosen profession? What about your home? Do you have the right to live where you want, how you want? What about relationships? Are you getting out of your relationship/s what you want and need? Do you deserve to end one which is unhealthy for you, or begin one which is rewarding?

After you decide that you want a change, the next step is to realize that you are worth the change you want in your life. I’ll say that again.

You are worth the change you seek.

Some people are only happy with what they can’t have. They have internalized that if they get what they want, it must not have been that great to start with. As they saw the wanted ‘’thing’’, it had value, but when it was caught, it lost its value because they were able to acquire it. You can probably see that these people will not find happiness with this line of thinking. Once something is ‘’caught’’ it is no longer out of reach. So they want something new. What are you worth? Do you deserve what you have? Do you deserve more? When you get what you want, will you know that you earned it? You are worth it…

Spend some time imagining yourself with your new change. Imagine yourself with a different job, lifestyle, career, relationship, world. Imagine yourself there and realize that you will be where you want to be, because you deserve it.

YOU, my friend, are worth it.

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